Many may not look at me the same way after this but I'm getting to the point where I do not care!
As an African American it is very hard to be looked at as an equal. But, as an African American Lesbian it is very hard to be respected at all. I find myself always telling some and not others. I felt that if I only tell a few that I trust then it will be okay. In my last relationship our problem was that I would not tell everyone. I feel that it is not every one business to know who I’m with. My family is diverse. We have Black, White, Latino, etc. But, when it comes to sexuality with my family it’s a big debate. Seeing that my great grandmother is a Preacher and my Uncle a Pastor relationships do not come up with me. After all of the wired looks I got from my family I was pushed to say that it was all a joke and I had to delete my myspace account with the pictures up of me and my girlfriend. Since then I have found myself in a box. When I moved into my dorms recently I had such a hard time telling my roommates. I kept thinking, “What will they say, How will they react, Will they move rooms?” But, when the time came for me to tell them, they already knew. They said that they saw a video on my facebook with me and my ex. Just for a side note I thought I deleted it. But, I find myself only telling some and not many because I do not know what others will think. I rather be looked at as a straight person until further notice. You may call it wrong. But, I see it like this. I should have the same right as a straight person to go to church, and live my life and not be looked at as wrong. In Persepolis Marjane heard her suppose to be friends talking about her here is her reaction, "You are going to shut up or I am going to make you! I am Iranian and proud of it!" This shows that even though she was quiet about what was going in her life. She still stood up for herself.
BET YOU DID NOT SEE THAT COMING!!! : )
Arianna, you are beautiful and wonderful as a woman I hope you always believe that. I sometimes find it hard to express things about myself without worrying about what they think about me. I use to feel like if someone was walking behind me, that they were insulting me quietly. It was not until I gained a sense of self pride that I began to get over that. My self-image is something I’ve always struggled with but now I try to stay positive and if they don’t like me then I just move on. Thanks for sharing I really enjoyed your Blog!:)
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