Day 10, Response to Antonio:Kiarah Lazo

There was a time in my life where I felt as so I lost both my parents due to stupidity. Three years ago I wasn’t myself. I was acting a fool and being the complete opposite of who I was...who I am. The person I am, I sit back and observe my surroundings. If there’s something I don’t agree with or know what not to do, I don’t do it. But three years ago, I wasn’t that person. I was the girl who tried being one of the cool kids and not listening to my parents. I was failing some of my classes horribly and gained a few friends who I don’t normally hang out with. The friends that I would tend to hang out with would point out all the things they didn’t like about me and for some reason I agreed with them. One friend in particular disliked my parents only because they disliked her also. The things she would say about them were so cruel and out of line but I pushed that to the side and became a failure in both parents’ eyes. That year I lost my sweet sixteen, truck, phone, shoes, iPod, school credits but most importantly I lost love, trust, happiness, and sadly…my parents. They didn’t want to put up with me, I went from house to house since my parents aren’t together, and it was a hassle. I lived with my father for three and a half months; I swear it felt like I lived there for years. My father and I don’t get along. I can’t say I hate the man but I sure do dislike his mind with a passion. Those couple of months I felt invisible. If I were to walk straight at my dad he’d probably go right through me as if I were a cloud of smoke polluting his air. My mother didn’t speak to me, only when she had to. It was the worst time of my life…never again will I put my parents though the pain. And I shall not feel invisible again.

No Homos Allowed

I remember I used to go to a dare care when I was four years old. I didn’t really want to go because I was a mommy’s boy and never wanted to leave her side so when I got there I cried, sat by myself and didn’t talk to anyone. That’s when a boy the same age as me came over and asked if I wanted to play race cars with him. I didn’t want to but he bugged me until I did because we were the only ones there at the time. Hi told me his name was Dion and he became my best friend from that moment on.
Flash forward 13 years and we were still the closed friends anyone had ever met. Dion and I were always together he was the funniest person, smart, caring, all the things you could ask for in a best friend. He was always there when I needed advice or somebody to just talk to. It was hard when he moved to Minnesota because always having someone next door or 30 minutes away was easy but having your best friend up and move to a different state was hard.
Unless you really knew Dion you wouldn’t have known that he was gay. When he moved to Minnesota the guys that he talked to there had no idea and he was on the football team with them so he formed that bound with that the plays have with one another. I don’t know exactly how they found out but it wasn’t good. They were at a party and I guess that’s when it came out and the team was made. They jumped him and he was beat so badly that he didn’t make it. My best friend died because of his sexual preference.
I was so upset and angry for the longest time and it hurt me the way he had to be taken away like that. You hear about these things happening but you never think it would affect or happen to you. I never thought that would happen. I stared to question my faith the same way Jimmy did in true notebooks when his brother was given a time limit on how much longer he had to live in his essay, “Why does he allow certain things to come into our lives and make us doubt his existences” pg 82.
I miss my friend but I’m not sad anymore because I still have the memory and his still with me every step of the way.

Response to Kiarah

I have had a specific situation where I unexpectedly lost someone. It was Valentine ’s Day and bought my girlfriend a pair of earrings that I put a lot of thought effort into purchasing. She was an amazing singer so I enjoyed writing songs and playing gigs with her I was also really attached at the time so I wanted to express my love and affection towards her by buying her a nice present. She was happy to see me and we both exchange our gifts. We kiss and go off doing our own thing when suddenly out of the blue I receive a text message saying “It’s over”. After this text I was devastated because everything seemed perfect, I thought she was the best thing that ever happened to me because we had so much in common. I tried talking to her about it but she remained silent for about 2 months. I tried everything to let it go and move on but there was some part of me that was still attached. The fact that she kept the earrings was really bothering me because not only did she break up with me but she kept the earrings. I couldn’t even talk to her so it was impossible to take them back. I couldn’t forget about her because she still had the earrings. I realized that I shouldn’t spend my time dwelling over a girl I thought I loved when she clearly didn’t love me. From there on, I erased her from my life as if she didn’t exist. She eventually came back after a few more months but there was no way I could forgive someone for doing something like this for no given reason. I have lost more than I gained throughout this experience but I have learned how to cope with losing someone important to me.

Day 10: Answer to Kiarah (Jorgina Kelly)

In the summer time, people visit their family or friends for the summer and just for the summer. In summer of 2008, I met this boy named Ryan. He was working in the summer program with the rest of the people that live out in Aurora. I was completely unaware that he was just visiting for the summer. We started talking and became a couple. As the end of the summer started to come, people kept asking him when he was going home. He then told me that he lived in Milwaukee and was just visiting his cousins. I was very shocked and not so much disappointed. I didn’t think before to ask where he lived or what school he went to. He wanted to ask his aunt can he stay with her and attend school at the same high school I went to but he said he knew she was going to say no. I told him that it’s ok and just leave it alone. That was the most unexpected lost I ever experienced. Until this day he still visits his aunt and cousins and I get a chance to see him. August 15 of this year would have made a two year anniversary for us. There wasn’t any negativity out of that situation besides a broken heart for him. The positivity is that he will be attending Columbia College next year. I truly believe in that saying, “If You Really Love Something Then You Should Let It Go, If It Comes Back Then It Is Truly Yours.”

Day 10 Response to Antonio {{Sherrae'}}

In April of 2008 I started dating this guy. And we were together for a long time. He was sweet and he was always there for me whether if it was good or bad. He and my parents got along well so that’s was a really big plus. He barely ever let me pull out my wallet when we went out. And we went on several dates. Then slowly everything started going downhill. We were spending so much time together that we drove each other away. We still cared for each other, so we decided it was time for a break. It really wasn’t a break because we still saw each other but just not all the time. During our break we got pregnant. And when I went to tell him that I was pregnant with his child, he basically was trying to leave me. As tough as I tried to be, it still hurt me that he didn’t want to take care of his responsibility. I cried each and every day. Once I’d told my parents, which was a big step because my parents are pastors, and they gave me the “yes” that they would help me take care of my responsibility, I went back to my ex- boyfriend and told him that I no longer needed him and he could go on with his life, slowly but surely he turn things around. He tried to be in my life as well as his child life also. As the months went by I continued to be pregnant until one day in March I felt an extremely sharp pain. What was happening? This pain was a sign that I was having a miscarriage.

answer to Antonio ( Tationa)

I understand Mark a lot because back in the sixth grade in my elementary school Reavis, my class was a bit rowdy. A little more rowdy than the other sixth grade class that appeared more like angels compared to Mr.James classroom, who seemed like a good guy but none of the students took him seriously. There were good times and there were bad times. The good times was when the class actually stood quiet enough to do their work. The bad times was when they would argue about stupid retarded things like if wearing dirty clothes or he said she said . I hated that class with a passion and sometimes I wish that I was put in another school or another class that was less annoying and stupid. It even came to the point where I almost got into an altercation with someone and with me being the quiet girl it wouldn’t be a surprise that some idiot who was in a group with a bunch of people I did not like tried look all cool and try to get in my face. Too bad in the end he was the one looking stupid. Anyways, I always had a thing where I believe that when there are less students in a classroom you get to learn more and less trouble then having the most rowdy children in a class that’s where I believe in this quote, “Too many clowns spoil the circus” (222). I can relate to this quote because it’s true. Even though I was a transfer student, it was so much trouble in the classroom. My classmates arguing, fighting, talking back to the teachers, it was that much of a pain being in that class that even the principal had to come to the classroom and yell at another student. I don’t believe that everybody is angel and never do anything wrong, but I just believe that there were just too many clowns to learn.

day 10 response to kiarah (sean Mackenna)

theirs been a lot of people in my life that have come and gone. some i'm happy there gone but others i miss a lot. there was this one girl in my 7th grade classes. her name was Farah Mir and she was the nicest person you could ever meet. we used to just spend hours and hours on the phone just talking about whatever came to mind. we would hang out almost everyday and in classes we would be inseparable. it was her birthday when things took a turn for the worst. she had a party that night and me and a few friends went up there to go hangout. when we got there some big ass kid came up to me and told me not to ever talk to his girlfriend again. i was confused because i didn't even know him or who his girlfriend was. then Farah came running up next to him, looking like she just got out of a tornado and her eyes were bloodshot beyond belief. i asked her if she was OK and she didn't have time to answer before the other kid did. he told me to get out or we was gonna beat me up. at that time i was still afraid to fight so i left. thinking back on it now i should have stayed and made sure she was ok. needless to say i waited a few days before i called her and she answered the phone laughing and being very jittery. she told me that she was sorry and that we couldn't be friends anymore because of her boyfriend. then she hung up. i was devastated and couldn't believe that the one person i felt i could tell anything to just dropped me. this is probably how the boys feel from true notebooks because while they were on the streets the other gang members would always call them and be down to help them out. now that there locked up they could care less about them. which sucks.. i know how they feel

Response To Kiarah- Sam Johnson

My father and his cousin/ best friend Fredrick "Ladell" Terry, grew up together and spent there whole life together up until October of 2000. They were known to get into lots of trouble together, more than anything "street work". Ladell was like dad's right hand guy. Every where my dad would go (as far as parties, gatherings etc) you would always see Ladell there right along with him. There relationship is kind of like my cousin and my relationship, we use to be every where together and we didn't put nobody in our circle. But in October of the year of 2000, a couple days before his birthday, Ladell had a motorcycle and was getting ready to sell it. As he was getting ready to sell it he decide to take one more ride on it for the last time. So he hopped on the bike and rode off. As he was coming back towards his house, he was coming up to a light that was still green and a van that was getting ready to turn. The van cut him off and crashed into him and my older cousin Ladell flew 50 ft from the accident area and landed on his head. No he wasn't wearing a helmet. My dad took the lost really bad. One night my dad was out and they found my dad truck leaning over a express way bridge and a tow truck had to pull his truck back up. My guess is, is that he was drinking and not paying attention to what he was doing while he was thinking about Ladell. Eventually my dad got over it but ladell defiantly lives in our family heart. R.I.P. Fred ("Ladell" "PopCorn") Terry

Day 10 Response to Kiarah Lazo/ Arianna King

Yes!!! My mom is everything to me and even more. My mom was the sweetest person you would ever meet. Her name was Sarita Ann Brown and she died at the age of 32 on Sep. 13, 1999. I was 8 years old. Many times at night I had nightmares my mom would get me up sit me on the kitchen counter and make me some coco and rocked me back to sleep. When she was alive she took me on so many trips. We went to Canada, Mexico, Dominican Republic, and China. The trip that I remember the most was in August 14-August 20, 1999. We went on the Disney cruise. She took me so many places. My mom is a hero to me. Till this day I will cry over her. I have been in many fights with people because; they said that I was stupid to still feel like she was still here. I feel my mom around me every time I get in a situation where I felt like I could not find my way out. I still wish that I could talk to her about what is going on in my life. I sometimes wonder if I am making her happy with the things I do. I cannot even count on one figure how many times I have went to her grave to say that I was sorry for doing what I did the day before. I may seem crazy to you, and I may see like I have lost my good since a long time ago. But, that is my mom: My heart, my soul and my everything that I can never be. The old I get the more I look like her. My grandmother sometimes cry when she sees me late at night because, she says I look like her so much. Even though many may say it’s time for me to let go. I still feel that I have a long way to go before I let go.

In Persepolis Marjane was in a situation where the people were talking about her and she went off on them. But, after that she ran out crying and thinking," Where were my parents to take me in their arms, to reassure me? (197). Even though her parents have not died she still felt alone and helpless. This can connect to how I felt when I was put in a situation and had no one to talk to.

Day 10 Response to Kiarah (Christopher Johnson)

Many times in my life I had to learn who to trust and who not to trust. I'm the type of person who is very social and open minded therefore i attract alot of attention. However these people that I come in contact whether it be in school or work I consider to be associates. Associates are people that you only deal with just for fun (like going out. I generally call these people fillers.) It takes a lot for me to trust someone because I've been betrayed by people very close to me. I used to be very naive and I thought everyone was my friend. There was one particular boy named Eric I grew up with from diapers who I truly thought I could trust but I would soon find out how wrong I was. I don't feel comfortable sharing this story so bare with me please. Earlier this year I was "talking to" someone and ironically he just graduated from Columbia. I told Eric how much this person meant to me and how I truly thought I found someone just for me. Anyway me and this guy were supposed to hang out one day and he stood me up and I was pissed about it so I confided in Eric about it. He came over to my house and I put my phone on the charger and walked away and the next thing I knew was he stole my guy's number out of my phone. The next day I come to find out that he was basically pursuing the guy I was in the process of dating. So I'm sure you would imagine I was quite hurt about the ordeal and I actually spent like five days crying about it because I couldnt believe someone I trusted could betray me like that. Even after everything happened I chose to forgive him and try to move on but he kept being shady and I had to let him go. Not only because he was trying to talk to my guy (I kicked his sorry ass to the curb too just in case your wondering) but it was because he showed me that I couldnt trust him to be the friend I needed to be especially with all the things we've gone through. When his father died I was there for him or when he just needed a shoulder to lean on I was there for him. I was very hurt because I lost someone I was close to and someone I considered a confidant. It's taken me a long time to get over it and I'm actually still in the process. I can relate this to True Notebooks because on page 41 Francisco spoke about his homies and how he thought they were real friends until he got lock up. "Ever since I got busted, I have never received a letter or personals from my homeboys."(41) I kinda feel this way when it comes to Eric because at a time when i just wanted to confide in him he just took it as an advantage to go after my guy instead of being the true friend I wanted him to be.

Day 10 response to Antonio Hill

It took many years to find my voice. I had to learn how to make people listen and appreciate the word I spoke. When you have things to say and no one will like it becomes a distraction in you like I think. You always keep your thought sealed in and sooner or later you mind feels like it’s about to explode. I believe attaining the attentions of others and being able to inspire people with your thoughts is a gift. It is a power of its own.

In middle school I was worst that invisible; I was seen and not liked. I was powerless and no one was there to save me. I spent most of the days avoiding my school mates and when I saw them I was miserable. I can remember going home and crying almost every night because I was so depressed by the things people say and the way they treated me. I never played at recess or spoke in class because I felt if I wasn’t good at something they would laugh at me. I would wish I was invisible just to get away from it all. When I figured out I could sing in 5th grade I gained a small level of confidence and respect. It was something no one could do as well as me. I used it as a power of my own. It was my ticket to a better life. I t was my gift and I’m glad that I have it. No I sing whenever I can to remind myself of how I moved past everything I went through. Today I feel like there is no one who can scare me because I have knowledge and my own sense of beauty within myself.

In Persepolis Marjane looses everyone for month and has to live on the streets. She felt like she had no on to depend on. She also lost he dinity. "I didnt have anyone"(239) Marjane had to find he way back to her life and family.

TRUST NONE

Yes, i have but my story goes a little different. I grew up with this boy and as we got older and start dating . I felt that he was my everything the reason that i smile. Last year my One of my friends ask me to go on prom with because his date turned him down. So i said sure, i wouldn't mind. We was nothing but friends nothing more and nothing less. When i told my boy friend he got very upset and angry with me and him. I wasn't sure why he was so upset so i asked him do you want to go on prom with him. A week later My Boy friend start secretly talking to my best friend behind my back. only to get back at me for going on prom with my friend, but i was doing him a favor because his prom date turned him down. I wasn't only hurt i was double hurt, i never would of thought out of all people my best friend will go behind my back. Boys are going to be boys but its a different thing when your best friend does. okay let me stop saying best friend, we are no longer best friends. When i told them i knew he told him he really don't like her he just getting back at me for going on prom,but hoe petty is that for you to pick my best friend. And how dare her actually start talking to you. I will never look at her the same although she said sorry a thousand times ,my trust for her is never going to be there no more. We told each other our whole life stories she was my real life diary. I thought about what if i start talking to one of his friends or her boy friend, how would they feel when they found out. I am positive they wouldn't like it and will feel hurt . But I am a true believer that Two wrongs don't make a right, and what goes around comes back around ten times harder.

answer to kiara- Jamahl Jackson

We all have three types of people that that are close to us in our lives, their are people their to teach is a lesson, people that come and go then we have people that willl stay their for an eternity and help to shape you into a beautiful person.

I had a special someone that I loved so much.I would have done anything to keep her here on the earth.

That person was my mom , she always the type of person that was there no matter what and always provided for me.She helped me do everything that I know how to do now.She was the best mom anyone could have had.I wish that she was here right now to help me do this transition form high school and college.I wish sometimes that she was their to tell me "Hey your doing a good job" but i know if she could she would be here.It wasnt her choice to leave.I wish she was here to show me which way is up and to show me the road of truth and enlighten ment.

In persophis marajane is trying to run her life without her parents just like i am.I am trying to make sure i run on this path to haveing a better future.In a way marajane is exactly like me because she has no one to turn to but a family friend that she really doesnt live with.Just like me.marajane is always by herself just like me.So in conclusin marajane is just me in a diffrent culture.

Answer to Kiarah Lazo- Antonio Hill

I’m sure we have all lost a loved one at some point in life. Maybe it was your brother, aunt, uncle, sister, mother, dad, grandfather, grandmother, or just a close friend. I’ve been to two funerals in one week back in June. I’ve attended my uncle’s funeral in early July and my grandmother's funeral back in February. I didn't cry at no of the funerals I went to. It’s not that I wasn't sad or anything because I was very down when I heard the news. I was close to all of them but I just couldn't bring myself to cry. After my friends funeral in June I started looking at life different and that's why I’m here at Columbia College right now. I started to notice that life is too short to play around and not have anything to show for all your years of living. Some people don't even have a diploma, and that's just crazy. My friends died on their graduation day in a car crash. So I went to college because I didn't want my friends to die in vain. They were supposed to attend Columbia College with me. So I did get a little, if not any, positive results out of my friends dying. However, if my little brother dies I’m pretty sure there will be no saving me from insanity. I don't even like thinking about death, especially when it involves someone close to me. He’s not my blood brother but blood wouldn't make us any closer. I grew up with him, I’ve known him since I was a baby and we've been tight ever since then. If he dies then I die, that's how I feel about the situation.

Day 10 Question: Kiarah Lazo

In the book Persepolis, after Marjane and her boyfriend Markus break-up (p.233) she felt as so she lost her emotional support and the only person who cared for her. Have you ever had a special someone who was there for you constantly that one day you unexpectedly lost them? What was the situation and did you get positivity or negativity out of it?

Blog Question- Antonio Hill

In Chapter 19 of "True Notebooks," Mark talks about openly inviting people into the writing class. Suddenly the class gets out of control and he consistantly has to tell the class to keep quiet, stop rapping, stop beating on the table, etc. How can you relate to that? Was there a time in your life when you felt powerless? Like you were invisible and everyone looked past you? What did you do about it? How did you feel?