I’m a very complex guy with a very complex life and everything always has to be complicated with me no matter what the situation may be and at times it’s very stressful. My last two years of high was probably the worst time of my life. I guess you could say I had friends but sometimes I truly wondered if I was loved. Although my life was and still is stressful I can always find inner peace. Like I stated during the first day I’m a boy that marches to the beat of my own drum. The one time I can truly say I have inner peace is when I’m in church. I can honestly say I truly love the Lord with my whole heart and soul and no matter how bad my situation is I know I can turn to him for direction. A lot of times in my life I truly feel unaccepted and unappreciated but when I’m in church that outside world disappears. My church family is more of a family to me than my real family is a lot of the time. Some of the benefits I have received from being a part of the church is I can truly express myself without being judged and I’ve also learned how to have a strong relationship with God. When I was young I struggled with the concept of being a Christian and being gay at the same time. I always thought that being gay was an automatic pass to hell. I spent a lot of time actually trying to “fix” the problem until one day a very dear friend of mine invited me to his church. The pastor preached a sermon that touched my heart. He stated that God loved everyone no matter what it is. He also told me never to be ashamed to seek him because not only does he love me but his love in unconditional. So now every time I come to a point in my life and I just want to give up I pray and somehow some kind of way I know everything will work out.
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